Romeo and Juliet
by besnaped
Summary: UPDATED WITH A CHAPTER ABOUT QUIDDITCH!!! --> Based on Shakespeare with characters from HP. Please, review!!
1. Act I, Scene 1, "The Usual Kind of Squab...

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JKR. All dialogs are only slightly modified and disordered (completely ruining the verses) versions of dialogs from Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare.  
  
"Romeo and Juliet" (by besnaped)  
based on / ripped off from  
"Romeo and Juliet" by Shakespeare   
with characters from "Harry Potter" by JKR  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
ACT I  
  
  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
Two households, both alike in dignity,  
In fair Hogwarts, where we lay our scene,  
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny...  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
SCENE 1, "The Usual Kind of Squabble".  
  
Hogwarts. A public place: The Entrance Hall.  
  
Enter Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, of the house of Slytherin, armed with wands.   
  
Vincent: I will show myself a tyrant: when I   
have fought with the Gryffindor's boys, I will be cruel with the   
girls, and cut off their heads.  
  
Gregory: Draw your wand! here comes two of the house of Gryffindor.  
  
Vincent: My naked weapon is out: quarrel, I will back you.  
  
Gregory: How! turn your back and run?  
  
Vincent: Fear me not.  
  
Gregory: No; I fear you!  
  
Vincent: Let us take the law of our sides; let them begin.  
  
Gregory: I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as they list.  
  
Vincent: Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them;   
which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.  
  
  
Enter Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, both from Gryffindor.  
  
  
Ron: Do you bite your thumb at us?  
  
Vincent: No, I do not bite my thumb at you, but I   
bite my thumb.  
  
Ron: You lie.  
  
Gregory: Do you quarrel?  
  
Harry: Quarrel! no.  
  
Vincent: Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember your swashing blow.  
  
  
They fight.  
Enters Hermione Granger from Gryffindor.  
  
  
Hermione: Part, fools!   
Put down your wands; you know not what you do.  
  
  
Enters Draco Malfoy from Slytherin.  
  
  
Draco: Are you drawn by the beating of Muggle lovers?   
Turn, Mudblood, look upon your death.  
  
Hermione: I do but keep the peace: put down your wand,   
or use it to part these boys with me.  
  
Draco: What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word,   
as I hate hell, all Gryffindors, and you:   
have at you, Mudbood!  
  
  
They fight.  
Enter several of both houses, who join the fight.  
  
  
Students from different houses: Strike! beat them down!  
Down with the Slytherins! down with the Gryffindors!  
  
  
Enters Professor Severus Snape, Head of the House of Slytherin.  
  
  
Snape: Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace,  
Profaners of this school.  
Will they not hear? you beasts,  
Throw your mistempered wands to the ground,  
And hear the sentence of your annoyed Head of House.  
You, Potter and Gryffindors,  
Have thrice disturbed the quiet of our halls.  
If ever you disturb our passages again,  
Your explulsion shall pay the forfeit of the peace.  
For this time, all the rest depart away;  
You, Potter, shall go along with me;  
And, Gryffindors, come you this afternoon,  
To know my further pleasure in this case,  
To Potions classroom, your common detention place.  
  
  
Everybody leaves.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Review if want it to be continued!  
  
Title is bound to change. I don't know yet who of famous Hogwarts characters will do the parts of Romeo and Juliet. Desperately in need of suggestions!  
  
Am I legally allowed to use Shakespeare's original dialogs like this?  
  
You can see the orignal Shakespearian text of "Romeo and Juliet" on http://classics.mit.edu/Shakespeare/romeo_juliet/full.html  
  
Thanks for reading! 


	2. Act I, Scene 1 and 3/4, "The Slytherin R...

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JKR. All dialogs are only slightly modified and disordered (completely ruining the verses) versions of dialogs from Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare.  
  
"Romeo and Juliet" (by besnaped)  
based on / ripped off from  
"Romeo and Juliet" by Shakespeare   
with characters from "Harry Potter" by JKR  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
ACT I  
  
SCENE 1 and 3/4, "The Slytherin Rancour".  
  
In the Headmaster's office.  
  
Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, is sitting at his desk.  
Enters Snape.  
  
  
Dumbledore: Who set this ancient quarrel new abroach?  
Speak, Severus, were you by when it began?  
  
Snape: There were the students of my house - your adversary,  
And your Gryffindors, close fighting when I did approach:  
I drew to part them: in the instant came  
The fiery Potter, with his wand prepared,  
Which, as he breathed defiance to my ears,  
He swung about his head and cut the winds,  
Who nothing hurt withal hissed him in scorn:  
While they were interchanging thrusts and blows,  
Came more and more and fought on part and part,  
Till I bellowed and parted either part.  
  
Dumbledore [sarcastically]: O, and where was Draco? saw you him today?  
Right sure I am he was not at this fray.  
  
Snape [ruefully]: No, he has lost himself; he was not there;  
This was not Draco, he's some other where.  
  
Dumbledore: My dear Severus, do you know the cause?  
Tell me in confidence, who is that him hurt.  
  
Snape: What, shall I groan and tell thee?  
  
Dumbledore: Groan! why, no.  
But sadly tell me who.  
Has been importuned he by any means?  
  
Snape [groans]: Both by Potter and many other Gryffindors.  
  
Dumbledore: Good god, for what?  
  
Snape [duh]: Out of their favour, where he is in Slytherin.  
  
Dumbledore: Yeah right, dark mark-man! Harry's fair and loving.  
  
Snape: Oh yeah! an hour after the worshipped sun  
Stopped glowing on the windows of the west,  
A troubled mind drove me to walk abroad;  
Where, underneath the grove of sycamore  
Past curfew(!) walking did I see your brat:  
Towards him I made, but he was ware of me  
And stole into the covert of the Forbidden(!) wood:  
I, measuring my affections towards him,  
Pursued my humour not pursuing his,  
And gladly shunned who gladly fled from me.  
Why, such is rules transgression!  
An if you leave it so, you do him wrong.  
  
Dumbledore: Well, in that hit you miss: he'll not be hit,  
Nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes.  
All because, in strong proof of goodness well armed,  
From Voldemort's mean curse he lived unharmed.  
  
Snape: Farewell: you can not teach me to forget.  
He'll pay with points, or else die in detention!  
  
  
Snape leaves in fury, his black robes billowing behind him.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well, what do you think?  
  
Note that each and every line (in both this and previous scene) are but an only barely modified lines from Shakespeare "Romeo and Juliet", Act I, Scene I.  
  
:) 


	3. Act I, Scene 2, "The Quidditch Alliance"...

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters belong to JKR. All dialogs are only slightly modified and disordered (completely ruining the verses) versions of dialogs from Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare (READ THE IMPORTANT NOTICE BELOW!!!).  
  
"Romeo and Juliet" (by besnaped)  
based on / ripped off from  
"Romeo and Juliet" by Shakespeare   
with characters from "Harry Potter" by JKR  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ !!! IMPORTANT NOTICE !!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
IMPORTANT NOTICE: The whole point of this parody is to leave Shakespearian dialogs as untouched as possible while changing the plot, and not vice versa. Of course, the main things from the Shakespearian plot will remain, but I also want to show all the aspects of life in Hogwarts and rivalry between its houses. For instance, this scene is about Quidditch. Hope this answers to the flames. Anyway, thanks for reading and caring enough as to comment!  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
ACT I.  
  
SCENE 2, "The Quidditch Alliance".  
  
In the Quidditch field.  
(By the way, it now appears that the action is set in Harry's 3rd year)  
  
Enter Oliver Wood from Gryffindor, Cedric Diggory from Hufflepuff and Roger Davies from Ravenclaw, Quidditch captains all three.  
  
  
Roger: Ravenclaw is bound as well as Hufflepuff,  
In penalty alike; and it's not hard, I think,  
For men so good as we to keep the peace  
  
Oliver: Of honourable reckoning are you both;  
And pity is we lived at odds so long.  
But now, Cedric, what say you to my suit?  
  
Cedric: But saying o'er what I have said before:  
Slytherin is yet a winner in the Quidditch;  
The Cup has not seen the change for eight years,  
Let two more summers wither in their pride,  
And we may think them ripe to set a record.  
The earth has swallowed all my hopes to Cup,  
But win it, fair Gryffindors, get yours by right!  
  
Oliver: This night I hold an accustomed practice,  
Whereto I have invited you as guests,  
and your teams, among the store,  
your tips, most welcome, make my strategy more.  
  
Roger: Quidditch fresh manoeuvres shall you this night  
Inherit from my house; hear all, all see.  
[To Oliver's owl, tying a parchment scroll]   
Go, Sirrah, fly about  
Through fair Hogwarts; find those persons out  
Whose names are written there, and to them convey,  
Gryffindor house us welcome on their practice stay.  
  
  
Sirrah (yes, that'll be Oliver's owl's name), so anyway, Sirrah flies away and we follow its flight (like in modern movies as opposed to ancient plays) so that now the scene continues at the entrance to Hogwarts.  
  
  
Sirrah: Find them out whose names are written here! I am  
sent to find those persons whose names are here  
writ, and can never find what names the writing  
person has here writ. I must to the learned.--In good time.  
  
  
Enter Draco Malfoy (Quidditch seeker) and Marcus Flint (Quidditch captain), both from Slytherin.  
  
  
Marcus [in didactic tone]: One's pain is lessened by another's anguish,  
One's desperate grief cures with another's languish:  
When not giddy, take some new Mudblood, smash them in the eye,  
And the rank poison of your own grief will die.  
Shut them in prison, kept without food,  
Whipped and tormented and -- why's this owl prying?  
  
Sirrah: God gi' god-den. I pray, sir, can you read?  
  
Draco: Whom do you bring this for?   
  
Sirrah: Perhaps you could learn it with a look: I   
pray, can you read any thing you see?  
  
Draco: Stay, owl; I can read.  
[Reads]  
'Cho Chang and the other members of the team'  
When should they meet?  
  
Sirrah: Tonight; with our house.  
  
Draco: Whose house?  
  
Sirrah: My master's.  
  
Draco: Indeed, I should have asked you that before.  
  
Sirrah: Now I'll tell you without asking: my master is the  
great captain of Gryffindor; and if you be not of the house  
of Slytherin, I pray, come and crush a game of Quidditch.  
  
  
Sirrah flies away with the parchment, but we don't follow his flight this time.  
  
  
Marcus: At this same Quidditch practice of Gryffindors  
Trains this Harry Potter whose skill you should envy,  
With all the rest of players of Hogwarts:  
Go thither; and, with unattainted eye,  
Learn his moves with some that I shall show,  
And at the game you'll make him eat a crow.  
  
Draco: I'll go along, no his skill to be shown,  
But to rejoice in splendor of mine own.  
  
  
Marcus and Draco exit towards Quidditch field.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
So, what do you think?  
Should I have used a house elf instead of an owl?  
  
Suggestions for next chapters are most welcome!!  
  
Thanks for reading! Please, review. 


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